And the 2002 GQ Band of the Year goes to…
Outkast?!? Not the Yuppie Pricks? I suppose they'll just
wait a few years and give us a lifetime achievement award instead of showering us with these
yearly accolades.
GQ does know prime white beef when it sees it, however, as evidenced by the
upcoming February article featuring the Pricks. Who, what, how, why? We really don't know.
Our hired drummer, received a phone call from someone asking him if he was associated with
the band. He said he worked for CondeNast and needed a photo of the band to run along with
an already-written article on punk bands.
Who is this stalker pushing the Pricks to greater fame
and fortune? An article, but no interview? Guitarist Deuce Hollingsworth has a theory.
"Must be some bitch trying to ride our coattails to the bank." Woah, don't get upset there
Big Guy. That's the great thing about being a Yuppie Prick. We have plenty of wealth and
stardom to go around.
On the subject of great things, the Pricks must also compliment GQ on their
MEN of the Year Awards. That's right, Martha "Wish I Had a Dick" Burke. Not only will you
never play a round of golf with me, Deuce and Preston at Augusta, but the only thing you'll
get from GQ is a throbbing between your hairy legs from looking at my picture this February.
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One last tidbit. The article will coincide with the release of our first CD,
"Initial Public Offering". We're planning to print a limited number of discs and let the
corporate giants bid on it. We might have more gold than Fort Knox, but we're not going to
turn down the blow jobs and coke parties from the courting record companies. Just wouldn't
be good business sense.
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